Thursday, January 15, 2009

JUGGALOS ARE BAD AT KILLING PEOPLE


Salt Lake Tribune - A 22-year-old Juggalo gang member was convicted Wednesday of first-degree felony attempted murder for attacking a Kearns teenager with a medieval battle ax in July.
A 3rd District Court jury delivered the verdict to Scott Tyler Stapley around 7 p.m. after deliberating four hours and listening to several witnesses and closing arguments in the two-day trial.
Stapley faces five years to life in prison when he is sentenced March 20 before Judge Judith Atherton.
The case against Stapley boiled down to whether he intended to kill 17-year-old Justin Ennis in July when he assaulted the boy with a four-bladed warrior axe with a spiky ball attached, causing severe injuries to the teenager's neck and shoulder -- or if the incident met the criteria of an aggravated assault charge.
Defense attorneys claimed throughout the trial that Ennis was targeted outside his home in the early morning hours of July 29 because he supposedly passed a sexually transmitted disease to a girl one of his assailants later slept with.
Read the rest of the article

7 comments:

Awesome James said...

I didnt think Juggaloes were really good at anything.

-JAMES

Clinton Sawicz said...

Chalk a point up on the board for james...

Anonymous said...

read the whole post. It gets amazing towards the end. I stabbed him cause he gave me an std. I think you need to chalk up a point for the juggalette clinton.

Anonymous said...

Oh and if you didn't read the whole post it implies that they are juffalos. Perhaps a juggalo and a bison mix. So be weary of these ones. They are evolved and they are violent

Trevor said...

In short, Juggalo 1 got an STD from some Juggalette. The Juggalette said she must have gotten it from Juggalo 2, therefore Juggalo 1 may or may not have gotten an STD that originated from Juggalo 2, so Juggalo 1 tried to kill Juggalo 2 with a battle axe.

And of course this all makes perfect sense in the mind of a Juggalo warped by too much Faygo.

spenserprufrock said...

Looks like I need to get tested.

Awesome James said...

I don't think they can evolve, I mean I remember reading somewhere that the "juggalo" is darwin's greatest obstacle.